people drive me crazy. i hate how the majority of the people in the world, aren’t their own person. its almost like everyone is an exact replica of the next, worshiping different people that live in the sky. those people drive me insane. from the time of their birth, they were never really given a chance to think for themselves. children being told who they are and what they believe. you’re told to be a good christian and live for god. to make the best grades in school and make it to college. find the perfect person, the one, then settle down in some perfect house and raise christian children to follow exactly in your footprints. don’t you know how amazing the human mind is? imagine the things people would have thought of by now, how creative people would be, if they weren’t told who they had to be or what they had to believe at such a young age. if our whole lives weren’t planned step by step out for us. if we weren’t told what was and wasn’t acceptable to society. all that is their parents fault though. and their parents parents fault. because they are all stuck in this vicious cycle. i hate when the people who grew up in those conditions are so restricted to that ignorant mind set they won’t even begin to think of other possibilities. they cannot experience the wonderful things our minds can come up with, or that sometimes thinking outside of the box is sometimes the best way. those people are so confined in this path that their parents chose for them. honestly, it doesn’t matter what you do in life. you’re going to fuck up a million and one times. you might as well do whatever the hell you want. when you mess up, you learn. and you grow and form who YOU are. messing up is sculpting who you are. i just don’t get it when those people refuse to follow their heart, instead of their brain-washed mind. when was the last time you did something you soley wanted to do? do things for the hell of it, travel countless paths, don’t analyze everything, be spontaneous! buy a random plane ticket and go somewhere that’s beautiful to you. see the world, see other cultures, and let your mind soar. stop doing things because you’re TOLD to. start using your imagination a little more. i promise you amazing things will come of it. have courage. why do we have to live in a world that has one specific way of living. such a primal way of thinking. we need to grow. people have gotten so destroyed by this. all these people are surrounded by this immense pressure. kim kardashian actually believes that being pregnant is the worst thing to happen to her because she doesn’t have the body that got her famous. having the ability to have a child is a beautiful thing, that is often taken for granted. i saw a magazine today with kim on the cover, saying that kanye dumped her because she gained weight during her pregnancy. i doubt this is even true, but it really got to me. our society is telling us that creating life is a ugly thing. we live in a society where getting likes on facebook is more important than standing up for something, or to someone. society tells us that being beautiful can only be achieved if you’re as thin as the pole, and judging people on their looks rather than the content of their character. i see these young girls on facebook doing everything in their power to become facebook famous but put no effort towards expanding their minds. what will all those facebook likes and 5,000+ random friends be to you in 10 years? if thats all that matters to you, i genuinely feel sorry for you. seeking attention for your problems is not going to fix them. they don’t even care about fixing them because they dont know how else to get the attention they crave. it breaks my heart how society works. i hope one day we’ll all be someone truly unique and comfortable. explore and go on adventures.
i needed to rant really quick. and i haven’t really been using tumblr lately, but thats whatever.
I REMEMBER THIS EPISODE
Saturday died in my arms last night. yesterday i had a feeling it would be that day. i just had a feeling. i have never watched something die before. he wouldn’t eat or drink and just wanted to snuggle, and as soon as he stopped breathing, his teeth clenched and his entire body went stiff. i was really confused and am really fucking sad. he had a nice last day, though. after i came home from the darkroom my dad and i gave him a warm bath in the backyard while he nibbled on apples. then i wrapped him up in a little towel burrito and we walked all around the neighborhood and it sounds stupid but i just showed him all these flowers, because i thought maybe he, in his lil rabbit brain, would think they were really pretty or something. i think he did. and i talked to him a lot yesterday, more than usual. told him about when i first met him, told him about a bunch of nice times we’d had together in case he’d forgotten in his old age. i sound retarded being this sentimental about a rabbit but honestly he was one of my best friends. and when someone or something is there almost your whole life, whether it’s a person, or an animal, or even something dumb like a table or a blanket, you feel it when it leaves. i suppose it was time. but it doesn’t make it easier. he has been there almost my whole life. (14 years! he was insane) it’s crazy. fuck. loved that little buddy. so fucking much.
i fucking weeped..